At least I am right now tonight. *sighs* I've been having problems with the right side of my jaw since Monday...all due to a stupid wisdom tooth that flares up randomly. This is the worst flare up I've had with the bloody thing, unable to open my mouth enough to talk clearly, or even comfortably eat a slice of bread without smushing it flat first. The pain radiates up into my ear, and down into my neck. In short, it's something that I NEED to have looked at and taken care of. I can't keep living with it doing this randomly, and getting worse each time it happens.

The truth is, however, that I've been putting it off for over 3 years now because I'm scared of the dentist. Well, dentists in general. I have been since I was a kid. And now, I'm supposed to go in Monday to have the tooth looked at, and figure out what to do about it. If it's dealt with in the office it's covered by a plan my dad, sisters and I are all on...if they need to outsource whatever I need done...well, we can't afford it. But...just going in to have a dentist look at it scares me to death. I want my husband there with me. And only him. There are a few problems with this, however. The first...we'd need a sitter for our boys to not have to bring them along. Or at least for the older one. We don't have one. The second...I'm supposed to be watching 2 other kids Monday...their parents will be out of town, and I agreed to do so for my mum-in-law for her friends. They don't KNOW anyone else to ask to watch their boys, as they're in town from Australia. So...my husband has to watch them while I'm at the dentist instead. All factors I didn't think about when the hubby made the appointment. I figured we'd find someone to watch Nicolai, possibly Leon, too, and we'd be good for the day.

Now...I'm bloody terrified of going in on Monday, I won't have the comfort of my husband with me, and will instead have his grandmother or someone else take me in. And the worst part, to me at least? I've no idea how to tell my husband, or explain to him, why it is that I'm so bloody upset that he won't be going with me. I'm ashamed to tell my husband that at 26 I'm still terrified of the dentist. Guess he'll find out now anyway, when he reads this. Go me.